Section 3: The Journey > Chapter 40: Of fuel and fire

June 13, 2010

The dark was compassionate for the freeze refrained from gnawing at my bones. Slumber was an unwrinkled constant. We head back to Leh today. But before we do, we must refuel our steeds. They are as parched as the Sahara. Our inquiries reveal there is but a single pump situated near the main market which is where we head now. But the pump will serve only dismay for we are told there is not a drop of fuel available and that perhaps, there won't be any for another day. We are told that a large ration was expected to arrive this morning but an accident had caused the delivery vehicle to overturn. We are also told, that perhaps, what is more likely is that the fuel was sold in the black market somewhere along the way. It is a common practice, we are notified. Our journey has come to a grinding halt.

I remember Bade saab's advice. Head to the market should you be strapped for fuel. You will find black marketers offering fuel at 60 bucks a litre - as opposed to an authorized rate of 55 - a viable option in moments of crisis. But we are in for a rude awakening - for today, June 13, 2010 is a Sunday. The market stands closed. Black marketers and legit entrepreneurs alike are on recess. We have no choice but to spend the day in Diskit. Motorbreath and Spiderweb will take turns calling loved ones from a lone PCO. I will do no such thing.

As the clock ticks lazily, we linger around the market place hoping to find some respite from our fuel-lessness but do so in vain. Our only option is to head back to the lodge and ask the staff there if they can help us acquire fuel. We turn back, Spiderweb, Motorbreath and I, in that order.

As we are about to exit, I see a few army personnel lounging out of the corner of my eye. I brake. Motorbreath sees me halt in his rear view and brakes too. Spiderweb though will turn the bend and disappear into the distance. I strike up a conversation with the personnel, explaining our situation asking them if they could help us out. They direct me to a government office on the opposite side of the road, informing me that government officers had a monthly fuel quota and that perhaps they should be so considerate as to letting us have it, given our unique circumstances. I thank them and head to the office from whence I am directed to a senior officer's residence on the other side of the market. Motorbreath and I will make our way to the residence. We meet with the officer and explain our situation. In undertones, he suggests that we should perhaps see him after work hours. We can only assume that the deal we seek to make is not legit. We thank him and promise to return by 6pm.

As we exit, we are pleasantly surprised, for we run into the family three who, at the present time, are indulging in large doses of brunch. We join them. Drifter informs me that RomeoMike and Vishal had made a lone trip from Khalsar to Diskit on RomeoMike's steed with only the Passion's wheel where they found help to fix the puncture. They then returned to Khalsar and the three rode once more to Diskit. It bothers me that they did not simply ride to Diskit with the punctured tyre. I am told that their goal was to avoid further damage to the ailing pressure-less tube, for they could not procure another at the present time. RomeoMike invites us over to their guest house. On inspecting it, I realize its as comfortable as ours and costs half as much. We decide to shift quarters as well. I ask Motorbreath to return to our lodge and fetch Spiderweb. I can only assume that is where he is for there has been no sign of him since he rumbled on an hour ago.

As we wait for Spiderweb, RomeoMike recounts that they had befriended the mechanic who had led them to the lodge and been extremely hospitable - perhaps a lot more than humanity would demand. The hostess of the lodge shows me to my room. I unpack and we head back out. I notice Spiderweb walking in. He looks agitated.

"You guys are great! You guys great!", he chants

"What happened?", I ask.

"You guys randomly decide to stop anywhere; you don't honk, you don't flash!"

"We did honk, we did flash. You never looked. We even screamed out Spidey several times."

"I have been looking for you'll for one hour."

"How is that possible? Had you retraced your steps to the market, you would have found us. We never saw you return."

Our decibel levels are rising. Our hostess tries to pacify us, asking us to forget the whole thing. But the past few days, it has become increasingly difficult to ignore Spiderweb's convention of riding ahead instead of leading. I cringed at Motorbreath's breakdown at the hand's of Spiderweb at the onset of our trip, for I do not believe he slowed us down. He rode as fast as his steed would carry him. I cringed when Spiderweb abandoned the family three and me at Shayok. I cringed when he would not wait for them at Aghyam. Time and again I have given in to his desire to ride ahead, to get to the destination, with or without us. To be fair, there have indeed been times where he's waited on me. But for the most part, he has dispensed with his responsibility to lead in his desire to mark our destinations with treads he owns. And today, while it was clearly he who rode ahead, clearly he who failed to recognize that we ride with him no more, he accuses us? How dare he. I will not back down. I will not stand for this no more. And so, I re-engage him into the argument.     

"It's your fucking job as a lead to keep us in your fucking rear view. Your job! You don't ride without us in the rear view. If you don't see us, you fucking return! Why the fuck did you keep riding when you knew we aren't with you!"

"I rode all the way to Hundur and back TWICE looking for you guys!"

"How the fuck does that make any sense?! You know we have no fuel. Why the fuck would we ride 7 kms AHEAD with no fuel! And if you didn't see us once, why the fuck did you go back again!"


"You guys think you are heroes and do anything you want! Fuck do it then. Ride wherever you want!"


"We? We? You are accusing us?? We've spent the past one hour trying to find us some fuel. Trying to find a solution to a problem while YOU rode ahead and didn't bother looking back. YOU kept riding. YOU were stupid enough to ride to Hundur twice when all you needed to do was retrace your steps. YOU fucked up. And WE are to blame? Are you fucking kidding me?!!"


Decibels rise to unprecedented levels. I've had enough. I don't see him as my lead no more. I will ride alone if I have to. Why bother riding in a group when the group don't care. The rest will try and pacify us. In time we will settle down.

After another round of some much needed refreshments, we will decide to head to Hundur and spend the rest of our day there. But that's a whole other chapter.